this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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