Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
