Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her