The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
