It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
