If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
