you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
