the condom got lost in my hair
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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