Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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