SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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