69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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