4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
