Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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