You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
