He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize