You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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