I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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