...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Sponge bath it is.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize