I will die if light touches me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
