I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
