i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
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first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
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i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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