There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
