What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
I'm gonna fight the coyote