She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing