i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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