So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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