I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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