Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
