at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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