So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
