38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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