worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
