they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
