um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Never underestimate the power of titties
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
