Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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