Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize