It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm at about main and main street
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
