i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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