remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
