he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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