When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
