Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
