Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
zippers are such a cool invention
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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