the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
