I must be too annoying 4 u.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
