did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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