Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
