last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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