Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
