READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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