I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
