On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
