we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
