I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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