i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
