Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
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