let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
