Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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