Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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