I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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