Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So much rum. So many feels.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
