I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
