So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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