He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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