haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
